The Natatorium

An emporium of oddities from around the world, complete with somewhat informative plaques that almost never match the item they are meant to be describing.

Friday, November 04, 2005

How do you say "distracting" in Portuguese?

I've had a mutating disease for the past week. It started out as one thing and then morphed into just about every possible condition one can have in the chest, throat and sinuses. However, I am nearly entirely well today, and I hope that since I've had just about every symptom one can have from a general sort of seasonal disease, I've gotten all my "sick" for this year over with in one fell swoop and am now inoculated against all possible infections for the remainder of the winter. My immune system will be indestructible.

They've been doing some roadwork on an intersection near my house that I pass through at least twice a day. It's been going on for a while, now, but it really hasn't been much of an inconvenience. Mainly they're just resurfacing it, so one can drive on it as usual, though there is a 1-inch drop from the old pavement to the area being resurfaced when you enter and exit the area of resurfacing. So as I said, the roadword itself is not annoying. What *is* annoying is the degree to which people in SUVs (Explorers, Yukons, Pickup Trucks of all shapes and sizes) SLOW DOWN and very nearly STOP when going over these 1-inch bumbs. *HELLO*. You're in a *freaking SUV*. I go over the bumps in my COROLLA faster than the guy in the *F-150*. It's a prime example of people owning a vehicle whose amenities they do not need and do not even *understand*. It annoys the hell out of me, not only because I'm always in a hurry and hate stopping for no good reason, but because people are driving gas-guzzling vehicles when they would never take them off road or use them for hauling, and furthermore are too prissy to go over a 1-inch drop any faster than 3 mph. Useless, idiotic waste and stupid, prissy, suburban people prententiously affecting "Git-R-Dunn" faculties and appearances are two of the main reasons foreigners hate Americans. We used to be pioneers, wrestling a living out of the wilderness with our bare hands, building a new country from the ground up. Now we slow down in our 8-foot high SUVs to keep from spilling our lattes or, god forbid, damaging the shocks.

Well. That was angry and slightly poetic. Oh yeah, I've been reading "Into the Wild." That explains it.

I've been typing this whole thing in one of the computer labs at Drury, and the whole time some guy behind me has been yammering away on his cell phone in what I believe to be portuguese. He'll speak portuguese for ten minutes, then break into english, which of course catches me attention because his speech snaps from nonsensical jibberish (to me) to recognizable words and phrases. Then it's back to the portuguese for several minutes until he breaks out into english again, so my brain can automatically lurch with recognition and I can lose my train of thought. Stupid portuguese cell phone guys.


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