The Natatorium

An emporium of oddities from around the world, complete with somewhat informative plaques that almost never match the item they are meant to be describing.

Sunday, April 09, 2006

Recent Journeys I Narrowly Survived

Journey One: Feminism (conference?)

Destination: St. Louis/Wash U/University City area

Primary Threats/Aspect of Existence Assaulted:

1. Physical Threats

a) Death by car accident, as vehicle was traveling in stalled several times. Was certain 90mph rear-ending was imminent. Also, bandits and rapists, waiting to pick off the weak ones on the side of the road.

b) Sleep deprivation.

c) Self-mutilation after extensive perceived social exclusion and/or "everyone hates me!!"

2. Mental Threats

a) Head-exploding arguments from peers about feminism. The professional arguments were good.

b) Trapped in car for 7 hours with person I wish to talk to. Person does not talk to me.

c) Perceived social exclusion and/or "everyone hates me!!"

3. Emotional Threats

a) I think it should be bloody obvious by now.

b) Hey maybe my friends aren't my friends, especially if I disagree with them. Unconditional love, what?

Salvation: Lindsey Arnold, Berneta Haynes, Cara Bates, understanding Professor, *really* cute toddler, Honey-Comb.

Journey Two: Second Chance Prom featuring THE DRESDEN DOLLS.

Destination: My WILDEST DREAMS oh and also KC.

Primary Threats/Aspect of Existence Assaulted:

1. Physical Threats:

a) death by car accident due to falling asleep at the wheel after 20 hrs awake and 6 hours driving.

b) death of feet by black high heels

c) threat to chastity by young stage assistants who liked how I shook my boo-tay.

d) diabetic coma after hours of driving, walking, screaming, dancing, more driving, on little or no food.

2. Mental Threats:

a) Head Exploding due to:
~the DRESDEN DOLLS coming out on the dance floor and spazzing out with fans
~the DRESDEN DOLLS playing a freaking awesome show 5 feet from me
~belly dancers
~the Cure
~Awesome Prom in *magnificent* theater, much much better than the sordid affair of '04.
~me dancing on stage for 30 minutes in front of 300 people including YOU KNOW WHO.

b) Nearly losing sanity because of almost missing the deadline to get to the radio station and pick up tickets for above event, because we got lost in KC when the directions seemed SO EASY.

3. Emotional Threats

a) Awesomeness overload.

Example (actual footage! note the prom dress and tiara!):

Get this video and more at


Pinching self to stay awake, Josh finding our way home after we took the wrong road, Chex Mix and Chocolate milk. Oh, and The Dresden Dolls.


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