I keep fighting with my mom because she wants me to date and I think that's stupid. I'm entirely not interested in dating anyone at all right now, but she can't accept that. She's all "oh, he was looking at you today in church" when #1. No he wasn't, unless he was shocked by the fact that I looked like "The Thing That Just Rolled Out Of Bed", and #2. He's like, a sophomore and #3. He just wasn't. And even if he was (which he wasn't) I'm totally not interested. In anyone. So there. Leave me alone.

But she just can't accept it. She thinks I'm still depressed over the what's-his-bucket thing, which I'm not, and she thinks I have low self confidence, which I don't, and she thinks the only reason I'm not interested in boys right now is because "I've been hurt". Whatever. I just realized that boys are a silly distraction that serve no purpose other than as friends. Beyond that, they're absolutely useless except in causing excess anxiety and dropping my GPA "like stone in water" as Wilson says. They sure as hell aren't going to raise my Calculus grade for me. I'm competing against several of them, after all. And they're going down. All of them. That's right Denver. Wilson. Shannon. Tim. Drew. You best watch your backs. Eat my academic dust.

Show of hands, who thinks I should have been born a man? Anyone?