My compter at home is dead, so I'm furtively updating from the school library....

So. It's been a hell and a half.

A very dear friend of mine, whom I haven't spoken to in a few weeks, is in the hospital after ODing on aprin while drunk. Remember Former Friend? I have reason to believe that not only has he been encouraging her drug use/depression, but he has in fact turner her against me. I'm sure he's been giving her the sob story of how mean I am to him (my faithful readers can find the truth in my archives) and I've been told that she doesn't want to see me by other friends who visited her over the weekend. I may sound reasonable and coherent now, but it was all I could do last hour to keep from bursting into tears during Offenbach's Neighbor's Chorus. It feels like the situation with *him* all over again, and if I think about it too much I might lose it. After all she and I have been through together, after all I've tried to do to be there for her and help her, he has somehow made her hate me as well. I was recently warming up to the idea of speaking to him again, especially since we have to work together on the literary magazine again, but now....

I told him I didn't hate him and that he was forgiven for everything that happened in our relationship. Now he's contributed to putting my friend in the hospital and turning her against me. My relationship with her should have been sacred to him, but apparently he has even less a sense of decency than even I thought.

I really hope I can forgive him for that, too, but right now I don't see how.