Girls in White Dresses With Blue Satin Sashes

Alright, I'm finally posting ten of my favorite things. I had to consider very carefully. Here they are, in no particular order:

*Andy's chocolate brownie concretes
*Shifting the Dominant Paradigm
*B&N employee appreciation days
*Hannah's angsty blog espionage antics
*My summer reading group
*Moths that kiss my arms when I unlock my front door at midnight
*Stuart Townsend as the Vampire/Rockstar Lestat
*Summer Weather
*Small, cool, hidden rooms in junk-filled basements made of cold concrete
*Water

Oh, and Hannah, Amanda, Ben, and Laura are tagged. Hee hee.

The Point at Which Smart Becomes So Smart That it Turns Stupid

I am making myself fishsticks. This in itself does not make sense, but what follows makes even less sense. I am making myself fishsticks, and I was trying a few minutes ago to decide what I would put on them. I usually put malt vinegar on fish, or rather, I *drown* the helpless ex-fishes in malt vinegar. I then recalled that Seth usually dips his in ketchup. While this may sound unrefined and disgusting (actually, while it *is* unrefined and disgusting), I remembered having tried it at one point, and found it to be quite good. Then I remembered cocktail sauce. Wonderful, beautiful, love-r-ly cocktail sauce. I love putting cocktail sauce on fried shrimp, and the fishsticks were coated with the same kind of crumbly breading, so I figured they would be *perfect* with cocktail sauce. I realized then that cocktail sauce was basically just ketchup with vinegar and probably some onion in it, and I could simply mix a little malt vinegar *into* the ketchup to make my *own* cocktail-esque sauce. In Gifted Kid Camp, one of the favorite "story sessions" that inevitably took place each year was "the time I made my own ___ without a recipe." This fond memory reminded me of one guy who said he once looked at the back of a jar or alfredo sauce in the grocery store to find the ingredients in order of proportion, then went home to make his own. In the spirit of this, and because I still didn't know what those white lumps in cocktail sauce were, I decided that I'd check to see if we had any so I could figure out how to make it. I began by searching the pantry when it hit me. I wanted cocktail sauce. I decided to make cocktail sauce. I decided to look for cocktail sauce so I would know how to make it. Hey, too-innovative-for-her-own-good girl, why not just EAT THE FREAKIN' COCKTAIL SAUCE in the bottle if we have any? We do. It was in the back of the fridge. I feel very ashamed of myself.

Color Me Incredulous

Apparently, I have the same personality I did two years ago. I think that's a good sign. I also think this thing is pretty accurate.

Your #1 Match: INFP

The Idealist You are creative with a great imagination, living in your own inner world.Open minded and accepting, you strive for harmony in your important relationships.It takes a long time for people to get to know you. You are hesitant to let people get close.But once you care for someone, you do everything you can to help them grow and develop. You would make an excellent writer, psychologist, or artist.

Your #2 Match: INFJ

The Protector You live your life with integrity, originality, vision, and creativity.Independent and stubborn, you rarely stray from your vision - no matter what it is.You are an excellent listener, with almost infinite patience.You have complex, deep feelings, and you take great care to express them. You would make a great photographer, alternative medicine guru, or teacher.

Your #3 Match: ENFP

The Inspirer You love being around people, and you are deeply committed to your friends.You are also unconventional, irreverant, and unimpressed by authority and rules.Incredibly perceptive, you can usually sense if someone has hidden motives.You use lots of colorful language and expressions. You're qutie the storyteller! You would make an excellent entrepreneur, politician, or journalist.

Your #4 Match: ENFJ

The Giver You strive to maintain harmony in relationships, and usually succeed.Articulate and enthusiastic, you are good at making personal connections.Sometimes you idealize relationships too much - and end up being let down.You find the most energy and comfort in social situations ... where you shine. You would make a good writer, human resources director, or psychologist.

Your #5 Match: INTP

The Thinker You are analytical and logical - and on a quest to learn everything you can.Smart and complex, you always love a new intellectual challenge.Your biggest pet peeve is people who slow you down with trivial chit chat.A quiet maverick, you tend to ignore rules and authority whenever you feel like it. You would make an excellent mathematician, programmer, or professor.

What's" Your Personality Type?

When Sirens Hate Sirens

NATALIE is lying in bed, awake but snoozing lazily. It is 10:15 am, church starts at 11:00 am, and she is weighing the pros and cons of getting up now, or lying in bed for another 15 minutes. She can hear her brother, SETH, and his best friend, JON, getting ready for church across the hall. Realizing she should probably get up, NATALIE starts to drift off to sleep again...

REALLY F***ING LOUD SIREN THING
::goes off in hall::

SETH, JON, and NATALIE
AHHHH!!!!!

NATALIE
What did you guys do??!!??

SETH and JON
Nothing!

RFLST
::continues going off::

NATALIE
Seth, hit the code! On the security system!

SETH
I don’t know it!

NATALIE
Arrrgghhh!

NATALIE gets up, puts on her glasses and robe, and goes to punch in the code on the security system control box.

RFLST
::falls silent::

SETH, JON, and NATALIE
Ahhhh.

NATALIE examines the security box and notes that the affected field (and cause of alarm) is zone 6, otherwise known as the smoke detectors. NATALIE sniffs the air. She does not smell smoke.

NATALIE
Did you guys set the house on fire?

SETH and JON
No.

NATALIE
::narrows eyes::

SETH and JON
No!

NATALIE goes downstairs, checks the hot water heater, the fireplace, and sniffs in every room. She does not smell smoke.

RFLST
::goes off again::

SETH, JON, and NATALIE
AHHHH!!!!!

NATALIE runs upstairs and punches in code again.

RFLST
::stops again::

NATALIE
::backs away slowly, into bathroom::

Realizing that she has to go to church and is already up anyway, NATALIE decides to go ahead a get ready. She begins by brushing her teeth.

RFLST
::goes off again::

SETH, JON, and NATALIE
AHHHH!!!!

TOOTHPASTE FOAM
::flies everywhere::

RFLST
::smirks::

NATALIE spits out toothpaste foam, punches in code again, and runs to grab the phone, searching the windows of the house frantically in hopes of finding one of those security-company stickers that hopefully has their phone number on it. She finds one and dials the number.

AUTOMATED VOICE
If you blah blah blah blah, press one!

NATALIE
Oh, shiznit. This is going to be like the credit card company where I have to listen to automated-man for a half hour before I talk to an actual—

AUTOMATED VOICE
If your alarm is going off now, press 2!

NATALIE
Hell yes!
::presses 2::

ACTUAL SECURITY COMPANY PERSON
Hello, can I help you?

NATALIE
My alarm is randomly going off because it thinks there’s smoke, but there is no smoke, and it just keeps going off, even though I punch in the code and—

RFLST
::goes off::

NATALIE
Yeah, like that!!

ACTUAL SECURITY COMPANY PERSON
(in you-are-dumbest-human-ever-to-live tone)
Uh, yeah. It needs to be reset.

NATALIE
::no, really, you think?::
Uh, okay.

ACTUAL SECURITY COMPANY PERSON
Yeah, hit blah blah blah code.

NATALIE
::hits blah blah blah code::

SECURITY BOX
::returns to normal::

NATALIE
Thanks. ::hangs up::

RFLST
::Is 0\/\/N0rz3d::